Friday, July 29, 2005

Blackout H.L.E.B.

Those words are just to remind myself about some incidents i had during work today. Some got me thinking,some quite weird, some funny. Here's how it goes.

Blackout: I came to work and the lights were on and sales were pretty ok. When i began to start work, counting my cash, a series of blackouts occurred. Each time, the lights went back on, the blackout occurred again and again. Pretty weird stuff. It occurred all the way until i started to take my first order when it suddenly stopped and the lights remained on. Everyone thought it was the fault of the cookpot which were turned off except for a few but we will never know till the technician or mechanic comes over to check it out tmr.

H stands for Horny. This is pretty funny. There's this lady who works at my place who seems to alwaez touch guys butts for no apparent reason. Usually we'll just wave it off or just respond as though its juz a gesture of hi or hello. However, today, one of my colleagues was pretty tired and pissed with the blackout which caused him to work like crazy that made him irritated when this lady kept on touching his butt. In a rage he pinched the lady on the arm and went on with his work. A few minutes later, the lady cried and complained to the manager. In the end, she got scolded by the manager and was told to go back home immediately. Some more she can smile when she got scolded. Smile and cry. one weird lady. I know she's got a screw loose in her head but being horny is another matter tho. lol~

L stands for Lanjiao. Lanjiao in chinese means sunni in tamil which means cock in english. If u all duno, there's this meal called Rancho pockett meal. but this chinese bugger mis-pronounced it as lanjiao. and he said it in chinese so confidently. here's how it goes.

Chinese Bugger: Wo yao i-ke lanjiao. (Translation: I want a lanjiao.)
Me: Lanjiao???
Chinese: Sze. Lanjiao Meal. Huan Sunni. Wo yao Su tiao. (Translation: yes. Lanjiao meal. Change the whipped potato. I want fries)
Me: Lanjiao meal??? *points to the Rancho Meal* Ni yao Rancho meal? Offer...
Chinese: *points to Rancho meal* Lanjiao meal? *nods his head* Wo yao ike.
Me: hao hao. (translation: yes yes.)

I has to stifle my laughter listening to this guy talk so confidently. Lanjiao meal? So u people out there,please learn to pronounce properly.

E actually means indian. This is a real puzzle. Ever hear indians talk? I mean those indians from India. Not the singapore indian tho some do speak like what i'll explain now. They speak so fast in their own language that it makes others heads go bonkers trying to figure out what they are speaking. And the one who listens could pick it up so fast and return the reply at around the same speed. Amazing ryt? The speed is definitely faster than those speaking fast in other languages. Its lyk a concorde to a bicycle. But the weird thing is when they speak english at the same pace, it becomes close to garbage as the listener would have to ask him to repeat over again and again or simple say yes or no or juz nod as tho they understood what they are saying. And if they say it slowly, they articulate the words so well that makes people wanna speak like them. Its like their words are curried making ppl addicted to it. And another thing, U have to speak a bit like them at a slow pace to make them understand what u r saying. Try speaking english at a normal pace and u'll c them rolling their eyes and saying "again?" over and over. haha~ ok,thats a bit exaggerating but yeah u haf to speak slowly to them.

B means boobs. There's this weird thing i dun understand. I've realised this particular thing after some time. Girls who order chicken meals and request for breast meat usually do not have breasts or to put it nicely have very small breasts. Most of them ahz, not all. And Vice-versa. And this is rather irritating for shops who cater to people who order different chicken parts. Just think about it. Singapore is an asian country and its known for its small-breasted girls. I know there are some that are huge but hey,itz a fact that most are small. Armed with this fact, and this hypothesis of mine from above, this would make most shops who cater chicken parts to these girls, bound to lose a lot of money when the leftovers are mostly wings. And for those who duno, chickens are not humans thus they only have one breast. So there is only one breast for every 2 wings. So for every customer who eats one breast, there must be 2 customers who are willing to take the wings which is pretty much impossible. And one thing to make it clear. I'm not a pervert who looks at gal breasts to get high or sumting. Its just that i'm curious that why chicken breasts are such hot stuffs among singaporean women because one thing's for sure, singaporean guys love thighs which i've yet to form a hypothesis why. Not all guys love thighs but from the 3 years i've been working that's what i've seen so far. Got any suggestions?

Some chicken part facts: Chicken Breasts are the healthiest part of the chicken as there is no fats in it. However, it doesnt taste nice and eating too much of it make make ppl vomit. Chicken things are the complete opposite of breasts. Ribs are the least filling among the other chicken parts but has the most flavour as it absorbs most of the flavour from the marinate. It also appeals to animals as it contains alot of bones and this is proven from the no. of customers i had buying chicken ribs at a cost of $2.30 for their dog. Drums are chicken legs which are shunned by the white but embraced by the black. Pardon the pun but its reallie true. Its the fastest to eat coz simply itz juz white meat around a single bone. Wings are basically for kids who juz wanna try out chicken. Get a kid a wing and they'll be hooked to it. Dun let them grow up on wings tho. They won't try other parts when they are older. They'll only begin to try it only when they are at KFC. ;-)


KewL lead the SPFB team at 1:05 AM

Mohd Akil