Sunday, July 31, 2005

3-3? 4-3? 4-4? Nvm...In my eyes, SP won...Altho itz juz a frenly....

SP vs TP. A mouth-watering clash of two awakening floorball polytechnics claiming heir to the throne of the strongest floorball polytechnic in Singapore. SP currently is made up of a core of die-hard floorball players plying their trade together for 3 solid years with young talented floorball players coming up their ranks. This strong foundation has made SP a solid team but without a coach the past few years they always came up short in the IVP. TP, however, is a totally different team. Boasting a few national talents and club players, they have begun the IVP on a strong note. Now with a national-level coach, and better club and national players in their ranks, they have become a force to be reckoned with.

The match began on a sour note for SP as they fall behind by 3 goals in the first period as TP ran riot around SP's lines. Each pass and shot found their intended target with only some gd saves by the SP keeper saving SP the blushes. The 2nd period was a much more tense affair as both sides seemed to be at equal strength trading blows to both goalies as they were kept busy making saves from all angles. SP fans erupted in joy as their hard work, cheering paid off via a half-court drag shot from Faliq. Players surrounded him and chanted his name as he celebrated his goal less dramatically this time. Next, was another goal by Farok who diverted a pass from a free hit into the bottom corner as TP began to wonder what went wrong. The 2 goals hit them like a whirlwind as they began to regroup and rediscover their touch. This led to the controversial third period where TP and SP began to search the goal to seal the match or to tie the game. SP didn't wait for long to score the equalising goal via azfar's low slapshot under the despairing keeper's dive. What came next was the controversial part as Mamat attempted a dragshot from a seemingly tight angle which went into the net at the top corner before it bounces out. This led to a TP player dribbling the ball from half-court and scoring a goal after the referee blew her whistle. So, what do you think of the scoreline now? Well,whatever it is, As the coach Bo has said...We won...And congrats goes to Kwee Ann for getting the Man of the Match for the frenly. Keep up the gd work SP. FORZA SP!

Mohd Akil


KewL lead the SPFB team at 10:41 PM

Mohd Akil

Friday, July 29, 2005

Blackout H.L.E.B.

Those words are just to remind myself about some incidents i had during work today. Some got me thinking,some quite weird, some funny. Here's how it goes.

Blackout: I came to work and the lights were on and sales were pretty ok. When i began to start work, counting my cash, a series of blackouts occurred. Each time, the lights went back on, the blackout occurred again and again. Pretty weird stuff. It occurred all the way until i started to take my first order when it suddenly stopped and the lights remained on. Everyone thought it was the fault of the cookpot which were turned off except for a few but we will never know till the technician or mechanic comes over to check it out tmr.

H stands for Horny. This is pretty funny. There's this lady who works at my place who seems to alwaez touch guys butts for no apparent reason. Usually we'll just wave it off or just respond as though its juz a gesture of hi or hello. However, today, one of my colleagues was pretty tired and pissed with the blackout which caused him to work like crazy that made him irritated when this lady kept on touching his butt. In a rage he pinched the lady on the arm and went on with his work. A few minutes later, the lady cried and complained to the manager. In the end, she got scolded by the manager and was told to go back home immediately. Some more she can smile when she got scolded. Smile and cry. one weird lady. I know she's got a screw loose in her head but being horny is another matter tho. lol~

L stands for Lanjiao. Lanjiao in chinese means sunni in tamil which means cock in english. If u all duno, there's this meal called Rancho pockett meal. but this chinese bugger mis-pronounced it as lanjiao. and he said it in chinese so confidently. here's how it goes.

Chinese Bugger: Wo yao i-ke lanjiao. (Translation: I want a lanjiao.)
Me: Lanjiao???
Chinese: Sze. Lanjiao Meal. Huan Sunni. Wo yao Su tiao. (Translation: yes. Lanjiao meal. Change the whipped potato. I want fries)
Me: Lanjiao meal??? *points to the Rancho Meal* Ni yao Rancho meal? Offer...
Chinese: *points to Rancho meal* Lanjiao meal? *nods his head* Wo yao ike.
Me: hao hao. (translation: yes yes.)

I has to stifle my laughter listening to this guy talk so confidently. Lanjiao meal? So u people out there,please learn to pronounce properly.

E actually means indian. This is a real puzzle. Ever hear indians talk? I mean those indians from India. Not the singapore indian tho some do speak like what i'll explain now. They speak so fast in their own language that it makes others heads go bonkers trying to figure out what they are speaking. And the one who listens could pick it up so fast and return the reply at around the same speed. Amazing ryt? The speed is definitely faster than those speaking fast in other languages. Its lyk a concorde to a bicycle. But the weird thing is when they speak english at the same pace, it becomes close to garbage as the listener would have to ask him to repeat over again and again or simple say yes or no or juz nod as tho they understood what they are saying. And if they say it slowly, they articulate the words so well that makes people wanna speak like them. Its like their words are curried making ppl addicted to it. And another thing, U have to speak a bit like them at a slow pace to make them understand what u r saying. Try speaking english at a normal pace and u'll c them rolling their eyes and saying "again?" over and over. haha~ ok,thats a bit exaggerating but yeah u haf to speak slowly to them.

B means boobs. There's this weird thing i dun understand. I've realised this particular thing after some time. Girls who order chicken meals and request for breast meat usually do not have breasts or to put it nicely have very small breasts. Most of them ahz, not all. And Vice-versa. And this is rather irritating for shops who cater to people who order different chicken parts. Just think about it. Singapore is an asian country and its known for its small-breasted girls. I know there are some that are huge but hey,itz a fact that most are small. Armed with this fact, and this hypothesis of mine from above, this would make most shops who cater chicken parts to these girls, bound to lose a lot of money when the leftovers are mostly wings. And for those who duno, chickens are not humans thus they only have one breast. So there is only one breast for every 2 wings. So for every customer who eats one breast, there must be 2 customers who are willing to take the wings which is pretty much impossible. And one thing to make it clear. I'm not a pervert who looks at gal breasts to get high or sumting. Its just that i'm curious that why chicken breasts are such hot stuffs among singaporean women because one thing's for sure, singaporean guys love thighs which i've yet to form a hypothesis why. Not all guys love thighs but from the 3 years i've been working that's what i've seen so far. Got any suggestions?

Some chicken part facts: Chicken Breasts are the healthiest part of the chicken as there is no fats in it. However, it doesnt taste nice and eating too much of it make make ppl vomit. Chicken things are the complete opposite of breasts. Ribs are the least filling among the other chicken parts but has the most flavour as it absorbs most of the flavour from the marinate. It also appeals to animals as it contains alot of bones and this is proven from the no. of customers i had buying chicken ribs at a cost of $2.30 for their dog. Drums are chicken legs which are shunned by the white but embraced by the black. Pardon the pun but its reallie true. Its the fastest to eat coz simply itz juz white meat around a single bone. Wings are basically for kids who juz wanna try out chicken. Get a kid a wing and they'll be hooked to it. Dun let them grow up on wings tho. They won't try other parts when they are older. They'll only begin to try it only when they are at KFC. ;-)


KewL lead the SPFB team at 1:05 AM

Mohd Akil

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Animal Bust-up in TheBlog!

Rumours are rife that a few mustangs are currently unhappy with the attitude of some squirrels and this has brought about a war of words in TheBlog. Ever since mustangs maiden victory over them, the squirrels have been restless and could not accept the defeat. Chancing upon TheBlog, they began to criticise on certain mustangs and even question the interviews by reporters. Some could not even accept the reports. It has really been a saddening experience by members of TheBlog and some have resigned to prevent further attacks such as death threats to certain reporters. We at SPFB F.C extend our help to those involved and hope this matter will simmer down.

Maxigence


KewL lead the SPFB team at 12:44 PM

Mohd Akil

Monday, July 25, 2005

MUSTANGS! MUSTANGS! MUSTANGS! MUSTANGS!

The deafening cheers of the Mustangs reveberated around the hougang sports hall as they celebrated their 4-1 victory over NP Squirrels. The crowd were amazed and thrilled by the Mustangs pace and tactical superiority over NP Squirrels that some supporters from the NP side could be heard cheering for Mustangs. This could not be helped as rumours have been circulating within the division 2 league fans that Mustangs have the most cute and handsome guys in the league. A player from Mustangs was asked by the match secretary,

Match Secretary: Who's the player no.18?
Mustang Player: Ohh,that gay? He's name is Noor.
Match Secretary: Gay? Noor? *Shocked Face*
Mustang Player: hehehehehehehehe........

The Mustang player's name have been kept secret to ensure anonymity of our sources. We have also received additional info that the 2-goal hero of the Mustangs, Rizal, had left the scene early despite efforts of numerous reporters who were gushing for an interview.

Reporter: Rizal, How do u feel after u scored both splendid goals?
Rizal: Get lost. I've a plane to catch!
Reporter: This would take only a few minutes.
Rizal: **** off!

The serious tone of his voice have lead many reporters to believe that he's an arrogant lad. Many gals who were scrambling for his autograph were left puzzled by his explosive attitude and have taken a slight dislike to his attitude.

Another Mustang player have also been seen leaving early in his shorts as a mob began to appear at the sports hall. It has been reported that the mob were there to take revenge on him as he was a known trouble-maker and he has so far raked up 3 2-min penalties in 2 games. The player has declared in The Blog that he would shake off his bad-boy image in the div2 league this season but it seems that he's words held little meaning. Hopefully, he has reached home safe and sound with his jersey,shorts and body in one piece. :)

Maxigence
Reporter for SPFB.


KewL lead the SPFB team at 12:05 AM

Mohd Akil

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Mustangs 4 - 1 Termites
(0-1)(2-0)(2-0)

Mustangs did well today against the highly experienced Termites who used to play in division 1. They may have started jittery and scared of their opponents but as soon as they got into the mood, the gameplan was carried out smoothly. Although we had an early setback in the first period, Mustangs never gave up and came out fighting every single minute to get their well-deserved goals in the 2nd and 3rd periods. Khairi and Afsal were the unsung heroes of the match as their running into space and movement got them their first points of the div2 league. The freshies once again have performed well and deserved to be called as Mustangs. From now on, together, We are Mustangs! FORZA MUSTANGS!

Jose KewL


KewL lead the SPFB team at 1:48 AM

Mohd Akil



Jose KewL hires new backroom staff!

Jose KewL has made no delay in signing on backroom staff before the transfer window closes in mid-season. He has signed long-time friend and current MusBoyz team mate,Fizzy, as his assistant coach to bolster Mustangs tactical know-how in the league this season. Fizzy who had once been top goal scorer in division 2 could provide the extra cutting edge in the Mustangs squad. It has also been known that Fizzy is very secretive and seldom shows up on the mustangs bench. Therefore any photos or interviews with him has been stalled. However, with these two dynamic duos at the helm, SP Mustangs will have a bright future.


KewL lead the SPFB team at 1:35 AM

Mohd Akil

Friday, July 15, 2005

Latest Acquisition from F.C Sporto!

Sp Mustangs have managed to lure Jose Kewl from European Cup winners F.C Sporto yesterday at an undisclosed fee. It was rumoured that Jose Kewl would extend his current contract at F.C Sporto yesterday but he snubbed the offer as the current agreement could not be negotiated further. He has been closely linked to a number of clubs including Really Madrid, Womenchester United and AC/DC Mee Lan. He is also highly rated by a sports critics around the world and a recent article by Floorballnet.com stated that "Jose KewL is the youngest ever coach to haf lead a team to the European Cup. Absolutely Brilliant!". However, every coach also has his fair share of criticism. Among them includes an unnamed source from innebandy365.com which stated that "Jose coached because he could not play floorball!!! haha!!!" while another quoted " KewL? He's just bull. He's just a one-hit wonder."

We tried to interview him recently over his recent signing of Rapper Zaa-rule as his personal assistant but could only get through Zaa-rule as he was busy getting ready his team for the game on saturday.

Reporter: Zaa-rule...With this new job of yours, would u quit rapping and writing rap poems for the public?

Zaa-rule: I shall not comment on this. This interview is purely on Mr Jose KewL and his club SP Mustangs.

Reporter: Ok. Sorry about that. I would like to ask how did u get to become Jose's assistant when there are reports that he prefers working alone and hates help from others?

Zaa-rule: Mr Jose is not as what has been described in the tabloids. He is a peace-loving man and loves making friends. I am indeed lucky to be his assistant and would like to thank him for having faith in me.

Reporter: hmm...i see...Rumours has it that the fee is undisclosed because SP Mustangs did a "tapping up" on Jose. F.C Sporto has filed a complaint to the I.F.F. Is this true?

Zaa-rule: I have my full support for Jose and SP Mustangs. The past shall not stand in our way.

Reporter: How about Jose's attitude of always being full of himself and not being able to shut up during matches?

Zaa-rule: In actual fact, Jose is humble and quiet. I hope u will not malign my boss any more in the next question.

Reporter: Sorry. I was just quoting from the tabloids.

Zaa-rule: I shall not continue this interview. For the privacy of my boss, I end this interview.

Zaa-rule was short and swift in his words. He left in a huff over the lack of respect from the reporter who seemed to criticise Mr Jose relentlessly. Hopefully, SP Mustangs performance will change the reporter's mind.


KewL lead the SPFB team at 11:42 PM

Mohd Akil



A fantastic start to an ardous campaign to div2.....

Sp Mustangs had a great outing against Rp Salsaz yesterday at Pasir ris Primary as they begin their campaign in div 2 with their second friendly in a week. It was a blast as several tactical changes were done after the friendly against cornvics a few days before. The first period was a tense affair as the pace of the game began to increase. Hafiz broke the deadlock in the firz period with a well-taken goal as Mustangs began to get in the groove.

In the 2nd period,the Rp defence began to crack under relentless pressure and swift counter-attacks as they began to crumble. Sp got into a comfortable scoreline in the 2nd period as Rp took a goal to try to steady themselves from the oncoming onslaught.

3rd period is when u cud c Mustangs finest moments. Mamat's goal from outside the box from swift switching with shaiful was nice movement. Hafiz unselfishness to take his fourth goal was another classic as he laid off for a simple tap-in for Zaim. The freshies were on fire as they ruled the goal-scoring with Shazwan bagging another 2 goals via gd work from Azfar. This is Mustangs.

The next period is one of grave concern due to lack of horsepower. This matter should be addressed a.s.a.p. And one more thing, THIS IS JUZ A FRIENDLY. KEEP UR SPIRITS AND MORALE HIGH FOR THE NEXT AND UPCOMING MATCHES. I DON'T WANT TO SEE ANY COMPLACENCY.

Jose KewL
Coach of SP Mustangs


KewL lead the SPFB team at 12:52 PM

Mohd Akil

Tuesday, July 12, 2005


The pic shown above is Afsal. One of the foreign signings brought in from last year to bolster SP's IVP squad. He hails from one of the more tumultous regions of India which results in his sheer size and lack of fear of opponents. His recent interview with THEBLOG was typical of his short answers but do not undermine that as arrogance. He is known to be the most humble among the 5 recent swoop of pasirians that were signed recently by SP Mustangs. As shown on the pic above, it is customary practise for players like him who reside in India to recite the "Bandysutra" with your stick on the ground to bless the rink with luck on his team's side.

From today onwards, with regular updates from sp-mustangs.blogspot.com, we here at SPFB F.C will give player infos as well as inside knowledge on key players. Keep a lookout for Juicy Details such as players who are always asleep no matter where they are and players who are reportedly gay!


KewL lead the SPFB team at 10:59 PM

Mohd Akil



To your left is a model from Umbro showing off their latest jersey incorporating the new technology Vapatech where perspiration is immediately drawn away from your skin so that it evaporates faster into the air. The model is also showing off the Mustangs logo on the left of his jersey which have been redesigned from the big rectangle logo which used to rest on the belly of previous jerseys.

I would also like readers to keep up with the current news updates at sp-mustangs.blogspot.com on players as well as their team managers. Congratulations to Mohd Azfar and Mohd Za'im for gaining entry into the 2nd round of trials for the U-19 national trials. As for Riduwan, your 2 mth wages have been suspended due to your negligence in public. Any more nonsense from you, will result in further fines and may result in expulsion from SP.

Evangelista Torricco.
Manager of SP Floorball.

P.S For viewers who wanna download wallpapers of the model or his different poses during the shoot, please click on the thumbnails below.








KewL lead the SPFB team at 3:18 AM

Mohd Akil