Thursday, March 30, 2006

After 19 years of thought, I've more or less decided on one wish...I wanna be in NS away from my family and go overseas for at least one year without any contact with them...I just wanna be alone away from everyone working out till i'm fit like a gurkha and if possible maybe die in anonymity as a pure muslim. I seriously want the first part...that is to be away...far far away...


KewL lead the SPFB team at 10:23 PM

Mohd Akil

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Just thought of blogging since it's been some time since i've left a mark here. Just realised that I have nothing to blog about really.

Read a blog that had a similarity to my life b4 i became "different" or wad i call "multiple personality births". It made me realise how fortunate or wretched I am yet I chose to ignore the facts and continue with what flows on. And seriously, now i dunno what i am. Its hard to explain what I am talking about and its something maybe no one shall ever noe.

Had a chat wif someone i used to know. Someone i selectively chose to ignore, someone i'd prefer to disappear from my life. The talk began with a simple greeting but progressed into a conversation based on "the unwillingness to respond yet due to courtesy and boredom, a reply is inevitable." weird huh? in the end, a simple curt ending. "Itz been very tiring talking to u." "My pleasure. People alwaez say that abt me. :-)"

Had a talk with a few of my colleagues at my new workplace. General viewpoint of me: Quiet, Innocent looking, seems to haf a gf for 5 yrs, good boy but with a egoistical looking face. ??

Had a series of sms-es from an old friend. I'm nicely hated coz i'm a nice person but damn irritating to the extent of pissing people off for no apparent reason. ??

Its like i'm bordering between good and evil. Its like i'm confusing myself. First impression is either good or bad. Long term impression is also the same. I accept who i am yet i do not know who i am, what i want, what i need, what i wish for and why am i me exactly? All I noe is i'm simple yet complicated due to the flows of life and death a.k.a the illusions of reality.


KewL lead the SPFB team at 11:59 PM

Mohd Akil